Sunday, February 23, 2014

I Am Whatever You Say I Am (FU)

Rant, literal and real.

I first heard that line in one of Eminem’s songs by random chance. In a not so different way, I have heard something similar repeated in the music and writing of other musicians.

At this point in my life I can say I honestly relate. And, at the end of the day, people can say whatever they want about me or anyone else. The reality is neither I, nor you, or anyone should give a damn about what someone has to say about you. It doesn’t matter what they think about you, what they say about what you do, or even if they think they assume to know you on any level. For the most part, I will say that this is mostly about people who will for-whatever-reason label you, think or say negative things about you, or make you equal to nothing in their mind and perception.

I did all the homework for my friends in Jr. High, High School, and even College. While all of them were getting accepted to IV league colleges, getting sports scholarships, and getting grants -they were all getting there on my work. And it never meant anything to anyone that I was reading at college level in elementary school.

While bad cops were fronting on people, and setting people up, I was fighting them back, protecting my friends and family, and even people I didn't know but still got in trouble and my ass kicked.

Modern culture, society(Bell Jar), Politicians, Religious Leaders/Groups, Governments –they all can and will use anything against you in the ‘court of life’. Yea, yea, judge not lest you whatever,…but the hard-cold reality is that people do judge. It all comes down to who they are, what they stand to gain, and if they derive some form of worth from you or whatever they can get from you. I’m not saying this is the rule across the board but it does cover a mighty damn large portion.

While people bicker and complain about Ethics, Morality, and Philosophy, I had already read 2000 years worth of history on all the why's and how, and some motherfuckers in this age at the top of every societal totem pole have the right to tell me what is right or wrong(?) - fuck you.

We all go through sh…..schtuff. We all go through this life-school of hard-knocks never really knowing what to expect. As far as some of us know, there is no tomorrow, there is no past,…all we have is the ‘eternal present’.  
 I do make the best of living in the ‘eternal present’, but it gets lonely around people who are either ‘bound by the chains of the past or are dreaming of a future that does not exist’. Hell, if some ladies ever realized the truth of ‘loving the one you’re with’, I might have turned out to be the man they were looking for the whole time (or, 15 mins at a time), while playing games of selfish desperation. Diamonds all look the same until they are cut, polished, and mounted (no pun intended).

To all the stupid bitches that used and abused me, used me for money, used me for a ride, used me for your self-centered good-time, for you sorry pieces of shit that used me as a stepping stone from one dick to the next - fuck you.

To all the motherfuckers who horribly and savagely kicked my ass when all I was ever doing was trying to protect those who could not protect themselves -fuck you.

To all the insane religious and political figures that constantly toy with the minds, lives, and hearts of all of man-kind, fuck you.

To all the perfect girls who thought their pussy was plated with platnium and never stunk, with all your clown-face make-up jobs, and fake-ness all the way through, fuck you.

To all the dumb ass jocks who thought their strength meant jack shit, fuck you.

To all the shit-head friends that were never friends but users who loved to use you when it is only good for them, fuck you.

To all the motherfuckers who think they are better than everyone and me, who think I'm fucked up and the lowest of the low, fuck you.

To all the Stars, Actors, Athletes, and Entertainment industry that rip everyone off with bullshit and live lives that are so fucked up, that your entire lifes work equals shit, and yet you still get awarded and paid, fuck you.

Earlier in my life, I became possessed with my own youth and vitality, and being a little bit more aware than others, led me to a false sense of perception. But, at the same time, I have always done my best to live life to the fullest including: love, passion, sex, drinking, smoking cannabis sativa, spending time with girls who desired me, and living as close to the edge as possible would be an understatement (as long as no harm was done to me or others). So sue me if all I ever really wanted was to live a good life and have as many fantastic experiences as possible, without hurt or drama, or anything other form of garbage.

Yes, I am guilty of living life. Yes, I am guilty for harboring doubt about everything. Yes, I want pleasure and happiness as much as anyone else. Am I really different from anyone else? The answer is no.

There have been tons of unfortunate times, great times, and times I wish I could play back on the fly at any give time. In a way, I’ve grown less embarrassed or self-conscious or afraid about living my life.

There are times I wouldn’t care if cameras were on me all the time: on the crapper, in the shower or tub (best place to sing songs), making love to a passionate beautiful lady, or on long silent adventures to places long-forgotten. I mean really, what is so secret, sacred, or mysterious about our lives anyway? We all basically do the same things. Why wouldn't I want to share all of this with the world saying, "Yes, I am living my life, and, so should you, And, I will till the end."

They call us human, or animals, and I…well, I don’t know what we are other than we are here. It’s crazy trying to duck and dodge all the people who want to control you, or make you believe what they believe, or others forcing you to want whatever they want. Lo and behold you live your own damn life without someone telling or forcing you to live it, no matter what.

In the end: it’s wrong, it’s right, it’s good, it’s bad, it’s never black or white, it’s a fix, or it’s a jam, in the end...

I am whatever you say I am.

After Steampunk is Over, I predict......

Steampunk -ok, yea I know I am focusing on this from the way-side of Goth. But, Goth comes and goes through its cycles and trends (almost never-ending, ha).

Anyway, after I did a lay-mans study on the periods before the 'Victorian Era' which has somehow been superimposed over an idea by K.W. Jeter, we have for the past decade or so been welcomed with Steampunk all over the place, it just made me question it -past, present, future, you know you know.

So, I was thinking about it and asked myself, "What comes after Steampunk, and possibly, the modern world collective slump in Goth (minus all the god-damned DIY, make-up, fashion, and other blogs selling Goth shit 24/7)?"

Doing the comparison with shifts in technology, the transitions of periods in-between fads like Steampunk, everything turned out to look, how do I say, "Extremely clinical, micro-mised technology superimposed into every aspect of our clothes, homes, auto's, etc."

There will be I will call an era of the "Elegantly Technological yet Impoverished Wasteland Style." Kind of like our online second and third lives, laughably paralleled with our boring, non-jacked in lives. More idiots jacked in not only on cell phones, but running into everything else while jacked in on VR.

We might all as well become "plastic," like Andy Warhol said. Pop stars, modern actors, Goth this Goth that, and the rest of us who have been Goth as if anyone cared now have to deal with the parasitic pop trending like of what everyone disliked 15 minutes before now. What a joke, right?

Things will get harder than they have ever been, and almost everyone will attempt some virtual or technological hustle, no different from what is going on now. It might be even more progressive until demands for employment are met when it is obvious that our glorious technology is really nothing without us.

Definitely, with no doubts, people will continue on this new retro-gressive cycle until the early part of the new 1000 years gives birth to the ideas of the newer collective generations. Oddly enough though, this primitive cycle has not turned over its generous worth of steaming-dung-beetle-hubris.

Perhaps, an exemplified indulgence of refined shapes, colors, and edges. A stark contrast between the technologically clinical, and the impoverished, second-hand-and-dying Victorian look of Steampunk, mixed with whatever new flab fashion or trend adorns the ever-so-new and wonderful walking flesh-bags.

Hmm, a look of technological abstraction-ism mixed with a futurist Metropolis, with all the delicious wonderings of art nouveau beaten into an art deco oblivion.

And Goth, I think it will continue to be the same three things it has always been: the rich, the poor, and the dead.