Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Toxicity, Delusion, Psychic Purple Undulations

Toxicity, Delusion, Psychic Purple Undulations

I am a high-level Empath, with mild to strong precognition, and at times the ability to touch things and I guess see other things. I don’t like to talk about it, but no one believes me anyway. Talk to anyone with a so-called “authority title” about things like this and there is no doubt they would try to lock you up.

There are times if I wonder if I am crazy, lost, or just plain and simple fucked up. Some of the most “holy people” in the world were not perfect, saintly, or even that good. Most of them basically said, “Be yourself, forget being perfect, live and learn.” I can agree with that. There is this entire aspect of my life that is beyond this world. I know that I am not bad -and, that I am not perfect either. Most “genuine holy people” drank, smoked, had intimate relations, and were just people not pretending to be something else.

Lately, I have been absorbing huge amounts of negativity, stress, and various bad man-made power supplies that emit dangerous amounts of wireless communication energy. I live with, and around people who I can see are so “black” I feel their tentacles like hungry vampyric parasites feeding on my very life force. Zombies are indeed real as they are people who were once living, but now hollow shells going through empty habitual rote motions. When I get around these types of people I feel like I start “humming” as if I’m attempting to protect myself from them by way of energetic shield sphere.

I used to see things as completely black and white, good and bad, (etc. and etc.). Comic books, Super Heros, Fairy Tale beginnings and Endings were the sustenance that formed some of my being. It was in different forms of literature that I had hoped to find answers to what I was and was doing.

I do admit that the strange, the twilight darkness, and the fringes of understanding were of curiosity. This is where my “germinal metamorphic seed” became life-long Gothic transformation. It is strange to be a “thing” and not know what you will become. Even at this moment, in my cave, I wait for the night to come so that I can rest from all the evil that people do in the day light and know it not.

“All people are fucked up and crazy, but very few admit it. I say I am all of the above and more.”

Truth, Goodness, and Purity were other things I learned about through Esoteric religions and philosophies. Once, I had this insane idea of living a remote, holy life, in an ancient temple pursuing the path to Enlightenment. It wasn’t so much as being Good as it was the wish that I could somehow save my people and world that was always crumbling around us. Maybe I had a “hero complex” or something. Now, I am more like an “anti-hero” and perhaps even less depending who you ask. I learned everything in this world is “fallible.” I have been to different religious temples, churches, fringe groups; I’ve always had the ability to tell how “holy or spiritual” the places or people were. I am sad to say that there are very few if any. I might even go so far as to say “holy and spiritual” are words we use as place holders for things we think are important. It’s is possible to go a step further and say there is no such thing. Guess it is all in the eye and mind of the beholder and believer.

From my Esoteric studies I have learned you don’t have to be: perfect, good/bad, or anything at all. Basically, the idea is to get the gist of this world, move beyond the veils of understanding, and minimize  what karma and suffering that you are able to. Fading from one wheel, past the veils, going beyond.

I was once told that I was: a holy being, a prophet, a healer, a seer. And, I never really believed any of it. All I could think was, “How can I be any of these things when I know how fucked up I am -or rather, believe that I’m fucked up and impure because others have said I am.” I don’t really feel “holy or like a prophet” in the manner that people typically say and know of. All I feel like is that, “I’m here to see, learn, and do and this is my last go around with the wheel.” I know I can do things but I don’t feel special or privileged because I know all people can do them. It’s only because they choose not to believe they can. I think you can wake up and realize how programmed you are, or, submit to blissful contentment.

Overtime, things changed, I changed. The more I engaged the world with my naive programming -it is crazy that when you “wake up” to how the world really is…you learn how led astray you have become. Truth becomes nothing more than subjective justification. Everyone is right in their own mind and only those with money, power, and super-glorified-human ability rule the day. The rest of us are fodder for the cannon. It’s like how can you talk about something serious -that you can do- when the world of people are entirely selective in what they choose to see and believe. People choose what filters -or blinders- to wear. But, what happens when you aren’t wearing any? What if you see so much it overwhelms you and you have no way or words to explain or show other people? I don’t know any card tricks, but, “I can see through you.”

I’ve had my life and my ass handed to me by this world more often I can count. Most of my bad interactions seemed to stem from the fact of my ignorance, and I underestimated how many “evil people” there are in the world. As you know -if you are like me- there is no such thing as “Good and Evil.” Our perceptions are contingent upon our life programming and experiences. Aside from who and what we think we are all humans are basically the same. I think my abilities have caused me problems because they have allowed me to see through things and people so much that -I don’t know how to be apart of the great lie of the world and people. Maybe that is why I have been and have felt an outcast all of my life.

Yes, I do know what it is like to feel utterly “weak and powerless.” Yes, I know what it is like to “think I know something” and “to know absolutely nothing at all.”

One of the things that I have learned about myself is that I am “empathic.” Matter of fact you could call me a better than average sponge with windows of precognition which I don’t know how to use or understand. I soak up so much from people at times I know how people really feel. It’s really no wonder our world is so screwed up. It’s because we are screwed up so to speak.

Like a bunch of rabid vampire squirrels trying to keep that bloody nut. (Gross)

One time, I soaked up too much energy from suicidal people. I could literally tell how much they were suffering and wanted to die. I could tell that they hurt so bad, I almost couldn’t breath, everything started turning black, the thin veil between worlds peels away -and, I could see the “others, waiting.” Death has a strange energy about it and you can feel it -the unlighted, the shadows,…all around. Makes my spine quiver.

I’ve read that once you develop to a certain point, things start to happen. In Esoteric and occult literature it is often spoken that when you practice that you avoid toying with any specific ability. The idea is to let go of those deceptions and keep moving further ahead if you will. At some point, you start to experience troubles, problems, and the build up within you becomes so great, you and others swear you are crazy. I feel like I’m about to shoot out of my body sometimes like a bar of soap in-between wet invisible hands. There have been a few moments I felt so “energy lathered up” I kept discharging small purple sparks every time I was close to something metallic. A couple other instances I bent water in the same manner you can make water bend using a comb and static electricity. I used to practice on a lensatic compass and got good making the needle twitch. I stopped doing those things as I realize it’s not the power you want, it’s the release.

Couple that with a near death experience and a host of other strange experience and you have me. All of my life I have known that I am different from others. It doesn’t make me very special. It can be a burden as it can make others hate you, despise you, and seek to harm you because you are different. Despite my difference from others, I’d still rather be myself than apart of the zombie-herd.

I don’t know. Sometimes I just wished I was fucking normal and fade into oblivion.

I can’t stand being around great numbers of people for very long. It’s like drowning in a weird psychic-sludge-stew. Soaking up to much of it overwhelms me so much that I have passed out. Power lines and communication towers screw me up. There is this communication tower close to my house that is constantly pulsing at all times of the night and day. It leaves me exhausted and restless. Every time they put another dish, antennae, or reflector on it -I can feel the power signal so much more it gives me a headache. Late at night, if you stand outside and it is quite you can feel and hear that son of a bitch.

It’s hard for me to handle specific objects. If I touch something or someone charged in a certain way, I either get a glimpse into the immediate future, or I soak up whatever they are putting off. I also have to be careful about certain types of information I absorb. Since literally all information is connected in one way or another I have the unfortunate gift of being able to see how things relate that are not obvious to some. At other times, I feel intensely drawn to certain objects as I know I will encounter them again shortly.

The only places that are peaceful for me are deeply isolated places away from people, away from man-made power devices and plants, and are more “natural than man made.” Part of me is a night-owl because the “mental-chatter” is not as loud. I like the day-time, but because of all the things people do in the day, they flood the “air-ways” -if you will- with so much drudgery and unfocused garbage -it is like swallowing an endless stream of “psychic poison.” I do like people to some degree but I have to do it (empath) in moderation or I get sick. Even so-called “good people” can be “toxic” in ways you can’t believe. What’s worse than a genuinely good person is “someone trying to be good” can be as toxic as an “evil person.”

There were a few times I tried to talk to people about what I do but, they all think I am crazy for the most part. So, I stopped talking about it. It isn’t like I can fly or anything -just the ability to see ahead a little bit at random times, picking up vibes from things or people I touch, and a general sensitivity to extremely high-energy bands. At one time, I thought I might have Synathesia. From time to time, if I’m feeling good or altered (not on drugs) I see colors. Like at this very moment, that god damn communication tower is pulsing so hard and so fast, that although other people around are completely oblivious to it, it sounds like a fucking high-pitched whining Siren to me.

Lately, I’ve been soaking up tons of “toxicity.” The negativity drains me, swings my abilities almost one-eighty in the opposite direction, waking up what I’ve read are the “darker occult powers.” I have to be careful when that happens as I have caused a handful of dangerous telekinetic events. It’s strange to think that my darker powers expressed -on this plane- seem just as powerful as my benign abilities. The older I get (oh fucking b-jesus), I slowly understand what I’m doing (I think). I don’t ever use my ability because I don’t really want anyone to know because even that becomes a burden. People start expecting things when they know you can do certain things. But, it’s all random and I don’t know how to turn it on or off. It just happens. In addition, I happen to live in an area that is wickedly hellish. It’s an area where everyone sort of looks like a normal native and smile to your face but, really, they are a bunch of evil wicked fucking savages. Often, I feel like where I live -state wide even- is a huge evil psychic vortex.

I have emailed a few organizations about my ability to control the bio-electricity in my body, but have never heard back from any of them. It’s not a big deal as anyone can do it. Basically, that chill you occasionally feel going down your spine -well, I can make it happen several times in succession and most times at will if I am feeling good. I can also generate weak fields with my hands pretty much all the time. I can do the bio-electricity thing a little less than five or six times then I feel tapped out. Probably could do it more if I practiced, but I have no idea what it’s good for. And no, I can’t light a light bulb although that would be pretty cool.

I decided to write about some of this because I am feeling more and more different lately. It would be nice to talk to other people but either no-one believes me or I wind up talking with people who don’t know what I’m going through. Generally, when you start talking about weird shit, then people think you are crazy and we all know how that ends.

Kill Your Television now! News Media, Talk Show, Television - Entertainment Schisms

Kill Your Television now! News Media, Talk Show, Television - Entertainment Schisms

It all starts in the head and ends in the head.

I saw a “news story” that talked a little how some people had skewed views on reality and the world. At the speed of mad laughter, I almost broke my neck. What better than News Media and Talk Shows to skew things. Parody and comedy shows don’t do any better than add fuel to the fire that soon may hopefully go boom. I guess if your going to get fucked in the head, might as well have a laugh as the end fucking continues, right?

There is a reason why the News calls their bullshit “stories.” A “story” doesn’t mean they have all the facts and they can spin, edit, cut, and paste into pseudo-journalistic oblivion. And, motherfuckers have been known to believe their bullshit too. Who in their right mind would support News at all if you really knew how they operated? Answer: No one other than those who intend to benefit. All perspectives can be considered “spin” including my own. The difference is your ability to discern if some motherfucker is attempting to pull a fast one on you by lying to you. Remember: “All News are liars.” Their agendas have nothing to do with giving you need-to-know information. It is about money and business. That’s it.

The News touts that, “People want to know.” Bullshit. There are plenty of us out here who do not want to know what bullshit the News is selling. The News is as Predatory as anything and anyone else.

Saying I just came up with: “Humanity is the Apex Predator in this world.”

Funny as I do believe humanities new buzz/provocation word if not favorite attack word is: “Predator”.

Humanity has always “preyed” upon itself. This age is no different. Competition is predatory. Survival is predatory. Life is predatory. When you strip away the bullshit details in how humanity dresses things up in ideological candy-coated Disney shit filled wrappers, the truth is quite clear. “Humanity has always been a predator and always will be a predator.” And, thanks to our Information Media we have found the ultimate digital tools to “prey upon each other until Digital Damnation cometh.”

And, since “all humans are predators” what really makes one predator any better or worse than any other? It’s crazy we can love and adore wild animals with killer instincts but when one human steps out of line it so fucking bad and people love to milk shit for all it’s worth.

Shit, it is like Virtual Roman audiences in Virtual Roman Digital theaters demanding informational death for the sake of death itself. We Judge ourselves, pass sentence on ourselves, and kill ourselves one viral trending herd poison every digital second of the day. Thumbs up!!! Woo-hoo!!! Repost!!!

The News  functions and acts as an “extension of Law Enforcement.” Not only do they act as a Policing power, they dredge up the past as if the past shouldn’t stay dead and gone. So, riddle me this, “When did the News ever become the Law?” “Who invested the News with the right to act as a Policing power, let alone aid and abed Law Enforcement?” Answer: No one. I guess when you have nothing better to do or talk about you scrape the bottom of the barrel until there is nothing left to scrape. If the News wants to talk about and act like Law Enforcement, why don’t they put their money where their mouth is and get out there and “walk the walk.” Sure, the News has a big mouth but, when it comes to action -ha, dead fucking silence.

Remember: News Media is Predatory. (Don’t be fooled.)

Remember: Policing Power is Predatory. (Don’t be fooled.)

Remember: Government Power is Predatory (Don’t be fooled.)

Remember: All Humans are Predatory (Don’t be fooled.)

Fuck all weather character people. If I want to know the fucking weather, I will look out my fucking front door. Other than the major weather associations that tell us if the weather is going to kill us or not, I don’t give a flying fuck about News Meteorologist. Meteorologists have infinite job security. No matter whether they get the weather right or not, they still have a job. Ha, and people give fortune tellers shit.

Talk shows -all talk shows- are bad. Even mine. If you know anything about P.T. Barnum, then you know how easy it is to sway the masses per-say. Although, there are those of us who have nothing to gain by injecting bullshit into the minds of millions. Like Barnum said, “A sucker is born every minute.” Look, the court of public digital opinion is a quick, cold, and as heartless as the computers we love so much.

Modern Comedy shows are not my idea of Comedy. They are more like people using a false title like a false front knowingly and intentionally attacking anyone and anything they can in hopes of a cheap laugh. All Comedy is Predatory. Does it work. Fuck yeah it works. Anyone who has read Barnum knows it works. In addition, since the mathematical average intellect of the general viewing audience is low, then getting a laugh is not impossible. Many excellent comics have said they the same thing. You don’t even have to be original with Comedy in this age. Just regurgitate what some former comic did, or, talk about common bullshit that pertains to everyone, imitate or make fun of your own or others stereotype. (Womp womp)

Have you ever watched how wickedly stupid all morning news shows are? Have you noticed how News went from reporting to: attacking, fabricating, defaming, distorting, laughing, misdirecting, preying?

If I had a cheap suit, some nifty graphics, a crack in the wall studio, and some bullshit video clips and sound bites, fuck, I’d call myself the news too. “Breaking Fucking News - this is the end of the world and here are some cute animal videos to watch while you die from mental anus cancer. Film at eleven!”

Sometimes I wonder what fucking planet they get these people from? I read how they really think that they are doing something important -News and Talk Shows that is. One minute they show you all nice positive shit, and then Boom! They hit you with some terribly cringe worthy ass goblin of a horror story. Finally, they end their broadcast by shoving some proverbial positive tear jerker right up your ass.

When it comes to Talk shows, imagine this: “People get paid to sit on their ass and talk about everything which essentially winds up being nothing!” How fucking American! But from what I know, it’s all around the world. God, it must be a fucking great gig: “Sit on your ass and get paid to talk about absolutely nothing.” Man, would I ever love to sit on my ass and get fucking paid. Dream come true right?

“Have a Good Day/Night Ladies and Gentlemen.”

You know, the news never ever reports anything that is important or usable to my life. I asked about thirty-plus other people and they said the same things. I asked about Talk Shows, Comedy Shows, and similar crap and people said basically the same thing. I asked them why they watch those shows. Less than half said that they never really thought about it. I guess that’s the point of television. To passively watch and not think. Wow, what a better time to get fucking programmed in the head!!! My dream come true!!!

I’m convinced that the only purpose of the News is to program and fuck with your head. No shit.

So why the holy fucking hell do we waste our time and lives watching copious amounts of Entertainment?

Are our lives so empty, boring, and meaningless that television and internet and whatever-the-fuck becomes so important that is our entire life? Apparently so. Unreality is now more important than the reality of our own lives. Entertainment has become more important than living. No wonder no one believes in anything.

On one show the shit-head host/hostess said, “If you don’t like it, don’t watch it or turn the channel.” But here’s the fucking deal you Moron, “Since a large majority of people are jacked in and brainwashed to your bullshit, I still have to deal with the fallout from your broadcasting idiocy.” That statement holds true across the board. Almost every outlet, major or minor, is somehow connected. At any given moment, depending on how the “herd” is being “brainwashed” and directed there is no telling what flash-points light up. It’s like one endless fifteen minutes of insanity in every media form and flavor you can think of.

Some people know News Media, and Talk Shows, and Internet bullshit is qualitatively bad, wrong for you, and fucked up. So, why the fuck does the same drudgery of endless anal mental oblivion injections continue? Is there some collective group at the top that intentionally and knowingly keeps fattening the mental cow of stupidity by allowing cookie cutter content on top of endless carbon copy material to keep festering in the world? It seems that way to me. Ok, ok, maybe imitation is flattery to infinity and beyond.

There came a point where I had to turn off the television, radio, computer -all of these unnecessary appendages that were seriously and mentally fucking me up -and people I know. In this age you can not meet or talk to someone not jacked into the net 24/7, or watching television, or some form of multimedia mental programming. I admit it has had an effect on my life that I can’t explain and has given me more problems than benefits or enjoyment.

Yes, even I get sucked into it more than I’d like to admit. Yes, like a fat cow eating grass, if a television appeared, I would stop grazing and start watching television forgetting I was chewing cud.

Who needs drugs or alcohol when some media outlet will fuck you up more than you would ever know?

When I think “News” generally I think that there is something important to know. That isn’t the case these days. It’s all someone else’s idea of what the general public should mentally suck on. Most morning News show are all out jokes with alcohol, music, and such non-sense garbage -shit, I could get more out of watching static on my screen. Makes me wonder who in the fuck is producing these shows? Blind, deaf, and dumb children who write the production on psychedelic paper with invisible ink?

Talk Shows -fuck, just shoot me already. You know, when some people speak, you can actually become a mute because you don’t want to sound as fucking moronic. I know about target audiences and all that nerdy statistical bullshit, but really motherfuckers?!? If there is an audience for televised bullshit on a stick, then I really am as fucked in the head as all of this shit made me. Gee, thanks entertainment and media.

Another thing, I hate “ALL” commercials period. Commercials make television not even worth watching. Same with radio, same with internet videos, same with all outlets. Why the fuck do I want to watch any show when I have to cut the time in half. A three minute video becomes a platforms for commercial fucking mental injection. A one-hour show becomes a thirty-minute joke. A thirty-minute show becomes a fifteen-minute joke. It’s just a waste of my fucking worthless, brainwashed, corn-fed life. During being entertained, I’m mentally fucked by drug commercials.

Commercials fuck me up. Drug commercials that tell me how I’m going to die from the cure. What male or female hygiene products I need. (They broadcast this shit at Dinner and Breakfast). What type of fucking vaginal or penis problem I need corrected. Whether I need a Lawyer because my vagina or my penis fell off or got hit by a semi-truck?!?! I wished they would find other ways to pay for their essentially worthless entertainment shit. At one time, I could watch television and vegetate. Now, I get fucked every time I fire up that fucking flat electrifying mind fucking device. Who needs drugs and alcohol? Thanks T.V., internet, and radio!!!

What’s worse than drug commercials? Mother fucking religious shows. OH MY FUCKING B-JESUS! A few times I had the masterful fucking idea to watch a few religious channels/shows/whatever. In one breath they are telling you how fucked up and evil you are. The next minute they hit you up for money, or to join their cult, or to buy some bullshit religious garbage. At one point -I fucking swear- I could feel my brains being sucked right through my eye balls and thought I was possessed! Then the motherfucker on the screen started chanting and reading “holy moly scripture” and fucking ghosts came out of my walls. Fucking religious motherfuckers are very hairy fucking scary. I mean give me a fucking break. Why the holy fucking Batman do I want someone to tell me how fucked up I am, then offer me free euphemisms and tickets to heaven? How the holy long hard fucking is it possible to legally brainwash people and call it religion?
Needless to say, I exorcised my television and threw that mind warping bitch into the permanent no-power mode -in other words off (for at least 15 minutes). Don’t get me entirely wrong as a few corn-fed religious fucks and a television have some purpose other than for what they are originally intended I guess.

Other shows: Law shows, Crime shows, Mystery shows, Science and Crime Shows -look shit is bad enough in reality without having to see it in story form on television. Who got the grand fucking idea that I want to watch Cops, Detectives, or a bunch of super nerdy computer dorks solving crime??? All of these kind of shows just need to die, get burned to a crisp, and returned to never again. I mean I see all kinds of crime on the news and in reality on a daily basis in my own fucked up part of the world. Who the fuck thinks I want to see that same shit on my television? Probably some white dumbass upper crust yuppie cracker.

So, why do we give a free pass to do shit in Entertainment, and then, in reality we consider it all bad. Just because someone does something and we call it a entertainment or a television show or movie -does that make it right??? Have the lines become so blurred that you get your sex, violence, and murder on television and it’s ok? Is it “so ok” that every form of sex, violence, and murder, and whatever is ok with you as long as it’s Entertainment alright?

If serial killers, criminals, or whatever called what they did “art” or “entertainment” should we give them a free pass? Why not? It all starts in the head and ends in the head. So, what’s the fucking deal?

Just because you see murder or crime on the News doesn’t differentiate the fact if you saw it on a television show or in a movie. Why? It all starts in the head and ends in the head. The idea. Think about it.

Don’t get me wrong as I guess it takes all kind of Hypocrisy to go around. With Entertainment, I suppose we get that free pass to be fucked up and entertain fucked up escapisms as long as we say, “It isn’t real.”

But, isn’t it? Someone has to do all of that stuff: sex, violence, and murder -in Entertainment. You can’t imitate some professions as you would get in trouble. So what gives with everything else?

Think about it. It all starts in the head and ends in the head.

Dream within a motherfucking dream, I guess, right?

Believe it or not, Entertainment of all kinds gives people all kinds of ideas. Entertainment programs and teaches as much if not more than any academic institution in the world.

Oh, and video games too -believe it. I don’t need a study to tell you how violent people get from playing them. I’ve had the wonderful privilege of seeing people turn evil from that shit. Video games and drugs share many of the same qualities: possessing you, making you loose sleep, forgetting to blink, etc.

Do people learn and get new ideas about sex, violence, murder, crime, etc. from Entertainment?

Answer: Yes, absolutely, without question, all motherfucking signs point to yes.

All entertainment makes me violent (joking) including: cute animal videos, bubble gum pop songs, shitty television shows produced by actors, News that acts like a predatory nitrous oxide O.D. club, and pay to view shit. Way, way to over-produced shows of any kind that feel like a clinical anal examination. Yep.

Anyways Ladies and Gentlemen, remember Entertainment -all Entertainment is bad for you.

(Flips the channels, while surfing the net, watching the News, playing a game, getting programmed)

(Haven’t blinked in strait 13 days -ooooo)

It all starts in the head and ends in the head.

The End

(Electric sparks flicker)

(Gong Sounds: Bum Bum Bum)

(Your Head rolls over and flops off the table down the rabbit hole)