I still appreciate you, but, I no longer appreciate your music.
I feel the same about: Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson, Dimmu Borgir, Static-X, Garbage, A Perfect Circle, All metal bands, All modern music in general. And even artists Alex Grey, Dali, and H.R. Giger.
The first Tool album I ever bought was “Aenima”. I thought it was the most awesome album I had ever heard. Although, overtime, the more I read the “lyrics” and read up on the members -like the other bands- I felt extremely let down.
I felt let down because, “How could all of these people with so much talent, ability, and life express themselves as so vile, shallow, and possessed of vanity and illusion?”
I used to have a friend who basically worshiped Tool and Maynard. He had all of the Tool albums. Slowly, I listened to each album repeatedly, read the lyrics, watched the interviews; A band that I once thought was really as awesome, amazing, and as beautiful became as “nothing.”
Danny Carey - At first, I really thought he was an out-of-this world drummer. Then, I studied polyrhythm’s that he talked about and spent a great deal of time studying world music. Also, that of the drummers that he talked about. I started to see what he was talking about: lots of practice and learning from others. I no longer saw him as much of a great drummer as I viewed him more as an “applied student.”
Adam Jones - He never struck me as an excellent technical player. The only thing I thought was good was that, “He established his own sound.” Psychedelic guitar is what it is. Most of what he and the bass player did came out of Carey’s foundation which, made the “Metallica” they were pulling sound much more elaborate than it really was. Throw in some psychedelic blues, a very eastern progressions, feedback and effects -walah.
Bass Player(Justin Chancelor & Paul D’Amour) - Like Jones, they did the metallic-double so to speak, although they seemed to play different things, progression-wise, album to album, there really wasn’t any sweeping difference. I kind of felt bad for the bass player(both) they more I read on him(them); What he had to deal with as far as all the legal and internal band conflicts. Maybe it’s a curse that bass players always get faded, shafted, or re-run and replayed.
Maynard James Keenan - You know, it amazes me that someone who seemingly sounds “awesome on the album thanks to the studio” never seems to par up “live.” I know because I have seen Tool in concert. It always strikes me that bands use studio-tricks and concert-tricks that they would never be able to pull off without them. There are times he sounds “beautiful” and you would assume the lyrics have meaning, other than being abstract, non-sensical, and more often than not harsh, abrasive, let downs of vocal expression. The more interviews I watched of Maynard…it was an extremely sad thing to see someone with so much talent and ability that, you see the negativity, the vile poison, the possession of desire to “spew.”
Dear Tool -and other bands- , I still appreciate you and “some” of what you do. However, maybe I naively wish that “bands and artists who are supposedly the best of the best” didn’t turn out to be less than what and who they are. I never had any real expectation of musicians and artists because, “I am a musician and artist who loves to listen to and learn from other artists.” Although, the more I listen, and learn, and think about what “my peers’ are doing,…I don’t know -I just don’t feel the same any more.
Vanity and illusion have always been the “corner-stones” of entertainment. It’s not that I am unhappy or displeased. Perhaps it just the fact that I do not desire vanity or illusion anymore. Maybe make-believe and pre-tend aren’t as important as: truth, understood communication, and perhaps “real enlightened sobriety” so-to-speak.
Dear Tool, I do sincerely feel bad about all the struggles that you have had to go through legally, musically, and health-wise. In some way, I sincerely wish your music held the same beauty, purity, and truthful expressive beauty that I once thought it expressed.
I don’t want to think that all of life is vanity and illusion. I don’t want the thrill too be gone. I never thought any of you were powerful or magical in a music sense. Honestly, I thought of all of you as good friends having fun and living life. I don’t see that anymore.
As much as I don’t want to let you go, I understand all things are impermanent and temporal at best. There is even a part of me that wished I could see you in concert again before you and I are no more of this world. I don’t judge you but I don’t feel the same way. For me, it’s not about sex, drugs, rock and roll, or even metaphysical mumbo jumbo. In sincerest honesty, you and other bands for me were about life, good memories, and good times.
I loved you once, I still do, but not your music and especially not a majority of your lyrics. I no longer have any of your albums, just an old T-Shirt. I wish you nothing but the best.